Posted on June 25, 2026
Cranial Tumbleweeds
The MoU that roared, O say can UFC,
stupid songs, etc.
by
Daniel Clark
* There's not
much good to be taken from the Memorandum of Understanding with Iran, but at
least we might have heard the last of the sentence, 'No other president ever
had the courage to do it."
* For a
day and a half, Vice President Vance insisted that the copy of the memorandum
that had been leaked to the press was inaccurate. When it was inevitably released, however, it
turned out to be exactly as the earlier reports had said. So what was the point to lying about it in
the meantime? One would hope he would at
least be able to exercise a little foresight, if not forthrightness.
* Trump
explained that he felt compelled to sign the MoU because he was afraid that the
closure of the strait would cause a depression, and he didn't want to be
remembered like Herbert Hoover. The fact
that he let his own reputational considerations enter into his decision ought
to be a scandal in itself. It is also an
illustration of why any final agreement must be submitted to Congress for
ratification, and not left to the discretion of one man.
* What
Trump is admitting, although he would never phrase it this way, is that he has
been tactically defeated by a maneuver that was easily foreseeable. Not exactly multidimensional chess.
* Some
conservatives who have been reluctant to criticize Trump have unloaded on his
MoU with Iran. However, they pretend
it's out of character for him, as if they don't remember the 2020 Trump-Taliban
deal. Is it because that one can't be
blamed on J.D. Vance?
* Trump
has now told the Iranians that America cannot withstand a prolonged closure of
the Strait of Hormuz. The MoU, by
negotiating a 60-day reopening of the strait, concedes that the power to open
and close it belongs to Iran. Thus, he
has given that country leverage over the United States for as long as he
remains president. Even the most fervent
Trump loyalist should be able to see that this is a colossal blunder, and not a
cunning tactical retreat as part of an intricate, ingenious plan to bring down
the Red Chinese.
* That
won't stop people from saying it, though.
It's only a matter of time before Greg Gutfeld and Jesse Watters go on The
Five and tell us that the big loser in the Iran deal is China. It's what they live for.
* The
Five still gets great ratings, but it just isn't very good anymore, mostly
because the network has forgotten who was the star of the show. Dana Perino used to moderate the discussions,
and stop people when they prattled on too long, said things that were factually
untrue, or somehow else stepped out of bounds.
Now, it seems like Fox News has made a conscious decision to push her to
the periphery, and let Gutfeld and Watters take over the classroom like Vic
Morrow and his sidekick in Blackboard Jungle. Apparently, there's no reason to let others
speak when the only valid point of view is Trumpedy-Trump
Trumpy, Trump-Trump.
* Gutfeld
is often hilarious on his own late night show, but is seldom funny on The
Five, where his orations often start with the phrase, "You know what this
is like?" At that point you might as
well go and make yourself a sandwich, because what follows is something along
the lines of "This is like when a bunch of losers refuse to give credit to the
winner, because they're in denial of the fact that he's so much cooler and
smarter and more courageous than they are, so that when he outwits them and
proves what losers they are, they never see it coming." Evidently, there remains a depressingly large
audience for this sort of thing.
* A show
that's closer to what The Five used to be is Outnumbered, in
which four female Fox News personalities host a male guest. It's obviously meant to be a response to
ABC's The View, but with panelists who (with the exception of Tomi
Lahren) are far more intelligent and sensible.
They don't need to prove that point by showing clips from The View
and discussing them at length on their own program. Somebody please make them stop.
* Why do
conservatives continue to look to liberals for validation? "Hey, Whoopi Goldberg says we're not all such
terrible people! Bill Maher kind of
halfway agrees with us about something!"
These are not accomplishments.
* Former
first lady Jill Biden now claims that she became frightened while watching her
husband's 2024 debate performance, "because I had never seen Joe like that
before or since." Perhaps she ought to
go down to the basement once in a while and take a look, then.
* The
trickiest thing about trying to predict elections is the infinite capacity of
either party to inflict unnecessary harm on itself. Just as this year's midterm campaign was
starting to look especially bleak for the Republicans, the Democrats needlessly
released their "autopsy" of their failed 2024 campaign, drawing all sorts of
highly contestable conclusions about what went wrong. All of a sudden, prominent Democrats were publicly
arguing among themselves about the specific reasons for which they stink.
* And
then, "Doctor Jill" made an unwanted appearance, claiming she had thought her
husband had a stroke during the presidential debate, even though the two of
them proceeded to the Waffle House afterward.
Is that what she usually prescribes?
* Of
course, Mrs. Biden is not a medical doctor, but instead has a doctorate in
education. Doesn't make the story much
less alarming, actually.
*
Meanwhile, the Republican National Committee is going ahead with a plan to hold
a midterm convention sometime this fall.
As you're reading this, you must be thinking, "Sign me up for that!" This idea could only have been suggested by
somebody who is such a complete political insider that he actually enjoys
driving on the beltway. RNC chairman Joe
Gruters says the purpose will be to create yet another platform for President
Trump, in hopes that he can energize Republican voters even though he won't be
on the ticket. And if that doesn't work,
they'll bring back Kimberly Guilfoyle to yell at us some more.
* Is there
any chance of the Republican Party allowing any Republicans to speak at its
convention this time?
* The RNC
is so out of touch that its 2026 campaign slogan is "Six Seven, Six Seven."
* Somebody
who understands party politics should have tried to stop Trump from appearing
at the 2024 Libertarian Party convention.
There are plenty of Republicans who are philosophically libertarian, but
people who actually join the Libertarian Party are very smug about not being
Republicans. If
Republican-turned-Libertarian Trump advisor Roger Stone could have ever served
any useful purpose, it would have been to discourage this.
* On June 9th,
New York Gov. Kathy Hochul ordered the flags in her state to be lowered to
half-staff to observe the passing of a former president -- of the Service
Employees International Union. This has
got to stop. The American flag should
only be lowered during periods of national or statewide mourning. It's not disrespectful to the deceased to
point out that no significant fragment of the population of New York state was
mourning the former labor leader and "social justice" warrior. Hochul was merely making a gesture to her own
political supporters, which is not proper treatment of the flag.
* When
there are websites dedicated to explaining why flags are being flown at
half-staff, you know it is being done entirely too often.
* This is
a nationwide phenomenon, but it is done most often and for the worst reasons in
blue states. It's hard not to conclude
that the reason for this is that the lowering of the American flag gives
liberals a visceral satisfaction.
*
President Trump insists on calling the Department of Defense the Department of
War, yet he's reluctant to call the war in Iran a war. Perhaps the Department of Conflict or
Department of Excursion would be more fitting.
* Add
"excursion" to the list of words Trump needs to look up before ever using
again. It would be helpful if, during
his next cabinet meeting show, one of the secretaries would refrain from
saying, "I just want to thank you, Mister President, for your leadership and
your dedication to the American people," and instead say something like, "Excursion
does not mean blowing things up, sir."
Just a suggestion.
*
Absolutely nobody but President Trump refers to enriched uranium as "nuclear
dust." Yet he continues to say things
like, "nuclear dust, as they say," and "nuclear dust, as it is called." If that were an accurate description, nobody
would want to possess the stuff.
* One
Trumpian term that hasn't caught on even among his fans is "Panicans." That's what he calls Republicans who express
concern (or panic, from his point of view) over the economic impact of his
policies. As nicknames go, it's
surpassingly weak, even by his standards.
The only people you'll ever hear repeating it are one step away from
turning into King Henry's sycophantic courtiers in A Man For All Seasons,
who make a demonstration of stomping in the mud just because they had seen him
do it.
* In a
series of social media posts about five years ago, Graham Platner, now the
Democrat Senate nominee in Maine, declared himself to be a Communist. He now disavows the posts as being from a
"dark time," and instead describes himself as a "New Deal Democrat." If we had reporters in this country, somebody
would ask him to explain the difference, and tell us how this transformation
came about.
* Of all
the phoniness there is in politics, the phoniest has got to be Democrats
feigning concern that their party is being taken over by socialists. That's pretty funny coming from the party
that created the welfare state, sided with the Sandinistas and nominated John
Kerry for president. The Democrats who
are now being presented as moderates are still in favor of single payer health
care and a universal basic income.
They're just upset because they want to take part in the revolution, and
they see that the angry young zealots are determined to push them out of the
way.
* The
criticism of socialism on the basis that it doesn't work is predicated on a
gullible assumption about its intentions.
Socialism worked just wonderfully for Stalin, Mao, Pol Pot, Ceausescu,
Mugabe, Castro, etc.
* So,
having recently experienced a "dark time" is not a disqualifying factor when
running for national office. Hunter
Biden will find that information useful.
Not a joke.
* It comes
as no surprise that Planned Parenthood has given Platner its endorsement,
because he happens to be an ideal spokesman for the pro-abortion cause, in that
he's a pig.
*
Anti-abortion organizations are expressing encouragement over a series of
polling results that indicate that public opinion is swinging back in the
pro-life direction. Unfortunately, this
means practically nothing. An election
campaign is about to start, which means that pretty soon, people will start
seeing Democrat pro-abortion ads that are free to tell whatever outrageous lies
they want, and the Republicans will respond with nothing, just like they did in
2022 and 2024. No matter how
counterintuitive the Democrat claims are, viewers will be inclined to believe
them, because if they weren't true the Republicans would dispute them, right?
* Chemical
abortions will eventually lead to their own decline, for reasons you won't hear
discussed on the news. First of all, the
physical pain they inflict on women will reduce the number of repeat abortions. In addition, it had never before been part of
the bargain for the women to see the result themselves, as they now often do.
* We're
told that the abortion rate has risen dramatically since the Dobbs
ruling four years ago. Because the
abortion industry is the source of the data, however, the fact that the numbers
validate its wishes comes as no surprise.
There's no way to count the dead babies that have been flushed, so what
is the methodology that produces the totals?
Is every envelope of abortion pills that gets mailed out being counted
as an abortion? If so, then the
haphazard nature of their distribution is leading to a dramatic overcount. Inevitably, there must be a significant
number of women who order the pills and then have a change of heart. We know for a fact that men are getting their
hands on the pills for nefarious purposes, demonstrating that they are easily
obtained by people who will never take them.
Some abortion advocates are even encouraging women to stock up on them
for future use. So why does everybody
seem to believe these obviously biased, impossible to keep statistics?
* Here's
one possibility: both sides want to believe it.
The pro-abortion side wants to believe the numbers for gloating
purposes, and the anti-abortion side for motivational purposes.
* In a
similar way, both sides of the war in Ukraine repeatedly amplified the
propaganda that the Russians were about to make a big breakthrough at any
moment. Naturally, the Russians didn't
want to admit that the war was going badly for them, but the Ukrainian-friendly press used
these reports to send out an S.O.S. and keep the foreign assistance coming.
* Tucker
Carlson has announced that he is no longer a Republican. You mean he just noticed?
* Not sure
why the topic of Russian propaganda brought Tucker to mind. Hmmm.
* Does
Ukraine have any cards yet?
* Speaking
of cards, can you believe a UFC fight card was held on the lawn of the White
House? That's outrageous! We need to get to work constructing a
permanent White House cage fighting arena immediately!
*
Supporters of the UFC event now accuse those of us who ridiculed it of being
elitist snobs, but it isn't snobbery to expect the White House to be treated
with the dignity it deserves. If the
standard has now been set low enough to allow cage fighting, then what about
roller derby? What about slap
fighting? What about competitive
eating? As soon as the UFC fanatics
agree to draw a line somewhere, they lose the argument.
* Even the
organizers of the event understood this to a degree. Anyone who has ever seen a UFC card, even
accidentally at a bar, knows that there is always at least one women's bout,
but on this occasion there was none.
Somebody must have recognized that having women grapple on the White
House lawn for the amusement of an 80-year-old fratboy
and his chums was not a very good idea.
Score one for "snobbery."
* How many
of these anti-snobs who championed that UFC card are the same people who assure
us of the absolute necessity of a gigantic new White House ballroom?
* It will
be impossible to believe woke is dead until the sports media stop referring to
such events as the Men's World Cup and the Men's College World
Series. It's already perfectly clear to
everybody that the World Cup and the College World Series are men's sporting
events. That's what is known as a
default position. It is only the Women's
World Cup and the Women's College World Series that require a
modifier, otherwise nobody would know what was being talked about. The only reason to add the word "Men's" in
each case is to imply a false equivalence to the women's tournament.
* As long
as the world of sports is immersed in this kind of dingbattery,
shouldn't the NBA rename itself the M-NBA? How else can we know which national
basketball association it is?
* The
Women's College World Series isn't even baseball.
* Now that
sports are all about gambling, somebody has got to be taking bets on which
sports media figure will be the first to refer to the "Men's Super
Bowl." The odds-on favorite has got to
be Christine Brennan.
*
According to the TV listings, one of the far-too-many participants in this
year's World Cup is "DR Congo." Perhaps
Mister Congo was a classmate of Jill Biden's.
* The
Obama Presidential Center has opened in Chicago, and the sight of the building
is leading that city's residents to hope for change.
* Michelle
Obama was in attendance, which isn't surprising since it was partly about
her. So, it wasn't as if she was asked to
show up for some stupid thing about some stupid other person, like a funeral
for a former president, or something.
* During
an interview on Good Morning America, Robin Roberts asked Barack and
Michelle Obama to give "one word to describe your next chapter." Michelle's answer: "me." Spoken like someone who majored in Me Studies
at Princeton.
* In the
interest of maximizing the curmudgeonly content of this column, it's time for a
few words about the sorry state of music today.
Has it really gotten so bad that Taylor Swift makes the cut to be
inducted into the Songwriters Hall of Fame?
Okay, so she writes songs. Kind
of a lot of them, actually. But they're
also kind of famous for being shallow, immature and embarrassing. Take, for example, the chorus from a lyrical
masterpiece of hers called "Wood" (cue Beavis and Butt-head laughter):
"Forgive me, it sounds cocky / He ah-matized
me and opened my eyes / Redwood tree, it ain't hard
to see / His love was the key that opened my thighs." It almost writes itself. At least it's stupid enough that it might
have done so.
* Classy
dame, by the way. Don't you all want
your teenage daughters to grow up to be just like her?
* In
fairness, the Songwriters Hall of Fame isn't just lowering the bar for Taylor
Swift. In 2022, it inducted Steve
Miller, whose hackneyed lyrics are the stuff of anti-legend. There's nothing more to add to what Dave
Barry has already written about "The Joker" and "Take the Money and Run," but
he went surprisingly easy on "Abracadabra."
Just try reading the lyrics to that song without any Pepto Bismol. It's as if Miller had just taken a great big
can of trite and spilled it all over the page.
* If only
Ted Nugent was a liberal grouch like those other two, they probably would have
inducted him, also.
* You
don't have to like country music to recognize that it is now being dragged
through the mud by a bunch of impostors.
When, in the first line of a song, the singer professes his enthusiasm
for country chicks, trucks and whiskey, that's a parody by someone who's having
a laugh at the expense of his target audience.
Country folk don't tend to be into the whole victimhood thing, but if
they were, this subgenre of music would probably be known as Hixploitation.
* Over the past few years, the first-wave British invasion bands have been releasing commemorative 60th anniversary editions of their albums. It is unimaginable that there will be any demand for any of today's music in the year 2086. And there certainly won't be any teenagers walking around in Bad Bunny tee-shirts.
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