Posted on March 10, 2021
Getting to the root, root, root of all evil
The American Conservative Union tried to pull a fast one at this year's Conservative Political Action Conference, but it was foiled by Alyssa Milano. The actress best known for her childhood role in Who's the Boss tweeted, "This is the stage at CPAC. THEY'RE NOT EVEN TRYING TO HIDE IT ANYMORE." The thing they weren't trying to hide was that the stage was shaped like an inverted version of the "Odal rune," which was used as a symbol for certain divisions of the SS in Nazi Germany. Naturally, Ms. Milano recognized it immediately, and understood the message it was meant to convey. All in a day's work for a liberal celebrity activist.
The Odal rune, which originally represented the sound of the letter "O", consists of a square, two of whose sides are extended into L-shaped lower extremities. Most conservatives would more likely think it was Kenny from South Park than a secret Nazi signal, which presumably transmitted our marching orders to us subconsciously.
If this CPAC scheme was so obvious, then how much more transparent is the sinister nature of the Minnesota Twins? For 28 years, the Major League Baseball franchise played with the unmistakable image of a swastika hovering over the middle of its home field. So maybe a swastika is not as conspicuous as the infamous Odal rune, but still, if Alyssa Milano had one of them smack in the middle of her ceiling, it wouldn't take almost three decades for her to think, "Hmmm, that's kind of strange." Yet the Twins played with this symbol right in the middle of the fiberglass roof of the Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome all the way from 1982-2010.
Perhaps Minnesotans thought they were being clever by naming the building after a champion of the Civil Rights Act, but the important thing is not what Humphrey stood for, but what his initials do. The stadium was commonly known as the "HHH Metrodome." It doesn't take the fictional offspring of Tony Danza to figure out that it's a short distance from HHH to KKK. Admittedly, H and K are different letters, if you really want to get technical about it, but racist dog-whistle code language does not need to be technically accurate in order to have the desired effect.
If that sounds like a reach, consider the fact that the Minnesota Twins were originally the Washington Senators, until team owner Calvin Griffith moved them in 1961, in the most glaring example of white flight ever recorded. Griffith uprooted the team from a majority-nonwhite city and transplanted it in a state whose population is 84 percent white. In fact, he actually stated this as his motivation in infamous remarks he made in 1978. "I'll tell you why we came to Minnesota," he said. "It was when we found out you only had 15,000 blacks here." That display of alleged wit caused legendary slugger Rod Carew to demand to be traded, although Carew later forgave Griffith and considered his comments to be out of character.
That's not the half of it. Minnesota's population is not only mostly white, but it's about 32 percent Nordic. You know, as in the people whose mythology inspired the Third Reich. But wait; there's more! Take a look at the Twins' alternate logo, which is sometimes worn on the sleeve. It features two giants, named Minnie and Paul after the Twin Cities, reaching across the Mississippi River to shake hands. Yes, this could be seen as a depiction of the "master race," but it's worse than that. Not even the most sophisticated eugenics program could ever produce people that freakishly large. Minnie and Paul are walking GMOs, obviously the products of grotesque human experimentation. On twins, no less. Mengele, anyone?
Last year, the Twins removed the statue of Griffith from outside their current home at Target Stadium, but that's not nearly enough. They can't make amends for their entire past by simply airbrushing their former owner from history, or even by changing the team name, the way the Washington Redskins and countless universities have done. Nor is it enough to add a black and white shoulder patch to their uniform with some kind of a unifying message like, "Arsonists Against America." No, there can be no remedy short of disbanding the team, taking away the livelihoods of everybody involved with it, and expunging its existence from the Major League Baseball record books.
Either that, or else the rest of us could just get on with our lives, or something.
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