Posted on April 17, 2026
Bubba Trump
An uncomfortable comparison for both
sides
by
Daniel Clark
When former
president Bill Clinton was called last month to testify in the Jeffrey Epstein
hearings, President Trump offered his sympathies. "It bothers me that somebody is going after
Bill Clinton," he said. "I like Bill
Clinton. I like his behavior toward
me. I thought he understood me." These remarks were generally greeted with
surprise, but perhaps they should not have been. When you think about it for a second, the
reasons why Clinton might be understanding of Trump, and vice versa, could
hardly be more plentiful. Consider the
following:
* To start
with the most obvious, they were both impeached, unsuccessfully.
* Both men
have enabled Russia' war in Ukraine, Clinton by convincing the Ukrainians to
give up their nukes in exchange for an American guarantee to protect their
nation's territorial integrity, and Trump by disdaining that same commitment.
* Each of
these men is an incorrigible, world famous golf cheat. Gimmes are Trump's specialty, whereas Clinton
is known for taking infinite mulligans.
Both men have reputations for fudging their scorecards.
* Both of them have said in the
past that Hillary Clinton would make a good president, although neither of them
is likely to have meant it.
* Clinton
appointed lifelong Democrats to prominent positions in his administration, and
so has Trump.
* Gennifer
Flowers. Stormy Daniels. Nuff said.
* Another
thing that they have both done promiscuously is issue controversial pardons.
* Trump
excused the Taliban, and Clinton did the same for 16 members of the Puerto
Rican terrorist group FALN.
* Both
presidents have been guilty of misappropriating Scripture, Clinton
rhetorically, and Trump in hard copy format.
* Each man
has the middle initial "J," continuing a cartoon tradition that goes back 70
years (Elmer J. Fudd, Bullwinkle J. Moose, Homer J. Simpson, William J.
Clinton, Donald J. Trump).
* In
waging a campaign of threats and insults against special counsel Jack Smith,
Trump has taken his cue from Clinton, whose hatchet man James Carville declared
"wahw!" on independent counsel Ken
Starr.
* Clinton
offered a shapeless series of rotating rationales for involving us in the
Balkans. Today, our endgame in Iran
changes on almost a daily basis, and does anybody really believe the Venezuelan
operation was about drugs?
* Much in
the same way that Trump supporters tell us that "you have to take him
seriously, but not literally," Clinton political advisor Dick Morris once
complained that his man was the victim of "excess literalism."
* When
delivering speeches, both men tend to blather on entirely too long, and then
some. At last year's Republican National
Convention, Trump delivered what was arguably the best speech of his life for
about 45 minutes, but then made the viewers forget it by wearing them down with
another 45 minutes of his usual litany of grievances. In 1988, Governor Clinton took more than half
an hour just to introduce nominee Michael Dukakis at the Democratic convention,
in what Los Angeles Times columnist Marylouise Oates dubbed "The Speech
That Ate Atlanta." He finally drew a
raucous ovation, simply by uttering the phrase, "in closing."
* Trump's second-term vice
president harbors a palpable disdain for the "hillbillies" he left back home,
even though he identifies as one of them when he finds it advantageous. Clinton's veep was
not much different in this regard.
* Clinton
once proposed a redistributive program he called "USA Accounts," by which personal savings accounts would be subsidized by the taxpayers. The new "Trump Accounts," which use taxpayer
money to seed savings accounts for newborns, is a variation of the same
concept.
* Trump
has appointed a witch to be our next surgeon general. Clinton appointed Joycelyn Elders to the same
position.
* Each of
them made his constituents' health and eating habits a matter of federal
policy, instead of simply trying to, you know, set a good example.
* Clinton
was known during his presidency for exhibiting "purple rages." Admittedly, Trump is a long way from purple,
but you get the point.
* Trump is
famous for his angry lunatic social media posts, but would Clinton have been
any different with the benefit of the same technology? The transcript of his out-of-control,
paranoid, delusional, self-pitying 1994 phone call to KMOX in St. Louis says
no. "When I stood on the Normandy
beaches, and when I saw all those rows of crosses there, it occurred to me that
those people did not die so the American people could indulge themselves in the
luxury of cynicism ... I don't suppose there's any public figure that's ever been
subject to any more violent personal attacks than I have ... After I get off the
radio with you today, Rush Limbaugh will have three hours to say whatever he
wants, and I won't have any opportunity to respond!" Add some incorrectly capitalized letters, and
this would look very familiar.
* It would
have turned into a grisly scene, had either of these men ever crossed political
paths with Mayor McCheese.
* When
asked about Epstein, they respond like Barbarino: "What. Where.
When."
* Each of them
has been chummy with a Russian president who has been so drunk that he couldn't
spell "CCCP."
* And
finally, both presidents' wives talk with funny accents. Ain't that rat, Mrs.
Clinton?
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