The College Football Czar

Week 14

Week thirteen in review: If you are surprised to see this installment of picks posted so early in the week, that is because the College Football Car is adjusting his schedule, as he does every year, so that his readers may see them before leaving work for the Thanksgiving weekend. Obviously, this leaves him two fewer days to work with, the result being that he cannot devote as much time to the editing process, so kindly excuse the relative disliteratude of this week's picks.

As far as the rankings are concerned, it was an uneventful week, with nobody in the Top 15 losing to a lesser-ranked or unranked opponent. When there was an upset, it wasn't really, with Pitt toppling #16 Georgia Tech, a team that had been deteriorating for a couple weeks already.

There has been another firing, and this one might be somewhat surprising, considering that California is on the cusp of its first winning season since 2019, but after last Saturday's dismal 31-10 loss to Stanford, coach Justin Wilcox was dismissed. Coaching the Golden Bears on an interim basis this week against SMU will be Nick Rolovich, who has held the somewhat vague title of "senior offensive assistant" for the past year. Coach Rolo had been the head coach at Washington State during the abridged 2020 season and the first half of 2021, until he and several assistants were fired for refusing to inject themselves with experimental goo. This past January, he lost his lawsuit against Wazzu, when an arrogant ratbastard judge basically presumed to tell him he's not Catholic enough to claim a religious exemption. The coach is unlikely to land this job on a permanent basis, but it would be great to see him get a shot with another major conference team as WSU wallows in the potpourri category of college football.

There are few acts short of assault that are as disgraceful as spitting on another person, but because they saw one of the NF-holes do it, Colorado State QB Darius Curry and guard Liam Wortmann spat on their Boise State opponents, as if that would make up for the 49-21 trouncing. This is inexcusable behavior for anybody, but Wortmann is a fifth-year senior, which makes him a little too old to still need the "if everyone else jumped off a bridge" lecture. CSU has suspended both players for this week's rivalry game against Air Force.

Despite the lack of upheaval, the Czar finished the week with an okay but hardly stellar record of 11-6. This was due mostly to his record in small conference games, going 2-3 with losses by East Carolina, Fresno State and Missouri State. For the season, his record stands at 154-95, for a .618 winning percentage.

Nov. 27

Navy at Memphis

When the schedule was first released, the MU fans must have expected their team to be playing this Thanksgiving night game for a berth in the American Conference championship, instead of just trying to torpedo the season for the Midshipmen. As it turns out, they enter this regular season finale two games out of first place, and probably headed for something like the Gasparilla Bowl.

The Naval Academy had been up to its belly button in trouble after losing consecutive games to North Texas and Notre Dame, but it re-entered the playoff race with a Week 12 triumph over South Florida. Quarterback Braxton Woodson scored on second-half touchdown runs of 20 and 64 yards.

Tiger QB Brendon Lewis has had a week off to rest his injured ankle. If he is able to push off on it, he should be able to attack downfield, unlike last game when he gained only 209 yards on 32 completions in a 31-27 loss to East Carolina.

The royal smart people at league headquarters thought they had solved the Army-Navy conundrum by making that annual season-ending battle a nonconference game. That way, the conference standings will already have been determined, so that one of the academies can play in the championship game, and then still face its arch rival a week later. Now, there is a chance that the Middies may end up in a three-way tie for first place. The second tiebreaker is record against common opponents. Because Army is an American Conference team, it should come as no surprise that it has played, and lost to, both North Texas and Tulane. The Army-Navy game is now relevant to the standings. But it obviously can't count, because it is scheduled for the week after the league title game. It would have to be disregarded, which means that the Naval Academy could become one of the two finalists, win the championship game, and then lose to the Cadets, indicating that they should have been the odd team out.

The second half of the season has been a big disappointment for the Tigers, who have lost three of their last five, including a shocker against UAB. The College Football Czar might say they need to look at themselves in the mirror, but then they might think they were the Cincinnati Bengals, and become completely demoralized.

Memphis 35, Navy 33

Nov. 28

Georgia vs. Georgia Tech

Clean, Old-Fashioned Hate will be unsullied by dirt and grass stains this year, because it will be played indoors at Mercedes-Benz Stadium, where external elements like wind, rain and fun are not allowed. The Yellowjackets are nearing the end of a five-game agreement to play one home game there a season. It stands to reason that they would move the UGA game there, because it's the only one for which they could count on selling more tickets than there are seats at their usual home field, Bobby Dodd Stadium. It sure sucks the life out of a good rivalry game, though.

Including an opening 2017 loss to Tennessee at this same venue, GT is only 1-4 there all-time. The Bulldogs, on the other hand, are 5-5, mostly in conference championships and bowl games, and they are 5-1 against anybody other than Alabama.

Because the Dogs (10-1, 7-1) are finished with their SEC regular season schedule, they are helpless to stop Ole Miss and Alabama from catching up with them to force a three-way tie for second place. The question is, who will even want to win the tiebreaker and face Texas A&M in the championship game, when all three teams are playoff-bound anyway?

The Jackets just got bounced out of first place in the ACC by visiting Pitt, 42-28, in their third dismal defensive showing in a row. In the second half, they sold out to put pressure on the freshman Panther quarterback, and were largely successful, racking up six sacks. In doing so, they left themselves susceptible to the draw, which was ultimately sprung on them for a 56-yard TD to put the game away.

If you've never heard of old-fashioned hate, that's what people used in the good old days, when they could muster the courage to holler insults at people from speeding cars instead of anonymously posting them online.

Georgia 55, Georgia Tech 34

Texas A&M at Texas

Anybody who's still trying to figure a path to the CFP for the Longhorns must be smoking some of that burnt orange. Three losses wouldn't be so bad if they were all to teams the caliber of Ohio State and Georgia, but that failure against Florida is disqualifying. Furthermore, the team's troubles have been pinned almost exclusively on QB Arch Manning, when they've obviously got other problems. Manning just played his best game of the season against Arkansas, and it turned out that he needed to, because the defense gave up 512 yards and 37 points to the last-place team in the SEC.

Although they're 11-0, the Conjunction Boys have malfunctioned in a handful of SEC games, defeating Auburn by only six points, Arkansas and South Carolina one. Last week, they got one of their few breathers in a 48-0 slamming of Division I-AA Samford.

Aggie coach Mike Elko has a big game name, but his team hasn't been in one since a Week 3 victory at Notre Dame. His ampersanders haven't added much "and" to their resume, having to face Georgia, Ole Miss, Alabama, Oklahoma or Vanderbilt. In case you were wondering how an undefeated SEC team can only be ranked third, that's it.

The College Football Czar doesn't know how you smoke something that's already burnt, either. It's Week 14; cut him a little slack, already.

Texas 21 A&M, Texas 17

Iowa at Nebraska

There are few things more putrid than happy Penn State fans, and Cornhusker coach Matt Rhule has made them doubly so. In getting rolled by his alma mater 37-10, Rhule gave the crowd two things to cheer about: the outcome of the game, and the fact that extension he signed recently means he won't be putting on performances like that at PSU on a biweekly basis from now on.

A little more offense would do a lot of good for a this 7-4 Hawkeye team, which has lost low-scoring games to Iowa State, Indiana, Oregon and USC by a total of only 15 points. Last week, they were held to a single score by Michigan State until the fourth quarter, when they rallied for a touchdown and two field goals to win 20-17, the decisive kick coming with just two seconds remaining.

This is the Heroes Game, for which fans in each state select a hero who receives a recognition during the halftime ceremony. They should have put an end to this two years ago, when Iowa gave its award to a teacher. Not a teacher who saved a pregnant woman from a burning car, or anything, but just a teacher who somebody thought was swell. Who's next, the cashier at the Piggly Wiggly?

Iowa 15, Nebraska 10

San Diego State at New Mexico

The SDSU defense suffocated yet another opponent last week, 25-3 against San Jose State. Their offense actually gained 20 yards fewer than the Spartans did, but it benefited from two takeaways and two turnovers on downs. Their opening score of the game was converted from an SJSU interception that was returned to the 20-yard-line.

UNM bottled up the Lightning Eleven in a 20-3 victory at Air Force, to pull within a game of the Aztecs for the lead in the Mountain West. A win this week would give them the tiebreaking advantage between these teams, and with it a shot at their first conference championship since 1964. That's the year that Lobo alumnus Al Lewis made his debut as Grandpa Munster. It is now almost twenty years after his passing.

As you can tell by the mascot, a lobo is a wolf. It is not a midget hobo, nor is it a nickname for a lobotomy patient, although somebody somewhere has probably still come up with an excuse to be offended by it. Haven't lobotomized midget hobos suffered enough, without being exploited for fun and profit?

The Czar hopes you're all proud of yourselves, cramming your faces at Thanksgiving dinner when there are lobotomized midget hobos out there on the streets. Probably. As far as anyone knows. Or at least, hypothetically, there could be. You swine.

New Mexico 17. San Diego State 13

Arizona at Arizona State

The Sun Devils sprung Raleek on Colorado, as junior RB Raleek Brown rushed for a career-high 255 yards, and added a 33-yard TD reception, in a 42-17 romp. That result puts ASU one game out of first place in the Big XII, but their hopes of repeating as conference champions now depend on Texas Tech and/or Brigham Young suffering an unlikely upset, Tech being at West Virginia, and BYU against Central Florida.

The Wildcats are a game back of their rivals in the league standings, although each team is 8-3 overall. The U of A extended its winning streak to four, with a 41-17 beating of Baylor, in which they scored the only 27 points of the second half.

If there's a possibility of an upset in this game, it would be for it to actually be competitive, as blowouts have unfortunately become the norm. Last time the Cats traveled to Tempe in 2023, they dusted the Devils 59-23, but last season in Tucson, they were trampled 49-7.

Some years it seems like one team or the other just doesn't want to win this game. That's probably because the winner takes home the Territorial Cup. Who wants a trophy that is territorial? It'll probably just roam around the house spraying on things.

Arizona State 53, Arizona 30

Boise State at Utah State

The Broncos have lost four games this year, which is uncharacteristic enough, but on each of those occasions (to South Florida, Notre Dame, Fresno State and San Diego State), they only scored seven points. Nevertheless, they remain in the running for yet another Mountain West Conference championship.

The Aggies could have bagged it after eliminating themselves from MWC contention in a tough 2OT loss to UNLV, but they rallied from a 10-point halftime deficit to become bowl-eligible, with a 28-17 win at Fresno State. Second-string quarterback Anthony Garcia threw only two passes, but both of the went for touchdowns. He also caught a TD pass, and carried the ball once for ten yards.

Too bad the series between these snowbound neighbors hasn't been more competitive, with BSU holding a commanding 21-3 lead. Otherwise, this would be a natural for a trophy game. They could play for something that has to do with skiing, like whiskey.

Utah State 20, Boise State 10

Temple at North Texas

One would think that if UNT wins out to finish 12-1, it will be a cinch for the CFP. The "eye test" is very important in determining the rankings, though, and the Mean Green's most visible performance has been their loss to South Florida, and it was ugly. On a Friday night, with a whole nation of football fans watching, they turned the ball over five times in a 63-36 disintegration. That might be enough to drop them into a dead heat with James Madison, even though either of the two-loss American Conference teams (Tulane or Navy) would undoubtedly beat JMU out.

As if that weren't enough of an obstacle, head coach Eric Morris has been hired by Oklahoma State. He will stay on the sideline in Denton for the remainder of this season, which the College Football Czar thinks is unethical. Unfortunately, a coach doesn't have much choice but to take a new position before the season is over, but once he has become a part of another program, he should be gone. Just imagine if Morris' team takes on his future conference rival Texas Tech in the playoffs, and a key Red Raider player suffers a terrible injury on a questionable hit. Nobody needs that appearance of a conflict of interest. What often happens in this situation instead is that they partly departed coach just isn't altogether present for his team's preparation for the game, and he turns in a clunker. The CFP committee has surely noticed this.

Not long ago, TU looked like a sure thing to reach its first bowl game since 2019. Three games later, it stands at 5-6, and facing the first-place team in its conference. These Owls are not of the burrowing variety, but they're not doing very well above ground, either. In a 37-13 loss to Tulane last Saturday, they rushed the ball for exactly one yard per carry.

The reason the Mean Green wear wings is because their official team name is the Eagles. But if they don't want to be called that, why do they remind people of it? That's kind of like somebody who's embarrassed by his first name walking around in a tee-shirt that says, "Don't call me Percival."

North Texas 45, Temple 34

Nov. 29

Miami at Pitt

With a win, the Hurricanes would have an argument for a bid to the CFP, even though they probably wouldn't make it into the ACC championship game. That's because the final berth would be between them and a Notre Dame team that also has two losses, and that they defeated the Fighting Irish 27-24 way back on the last day of August. Mind you, the College Football Czar has explained many times over the years why when two teams have the same record, their head-to-head result is not all-important. ND lost its first two games, to CFP-level teams Miami and Texas A&M. If he Canes' two defeats had come against significantly lesser opponents, it would not be right to send them to the playoff. It is only because they were to quality opponents Louisville and SMU that the argument can commence.

In 2017, The U came swaggering into what was then Heinz Field with a record of 10-0. The Panthers, led by freshman named Kenny Pickett, turned them away 24-14, sending them spinning into a three-game losing streak to end the season. This year, their league-leading defense will be determined not to let that happen again.

Since last week's game at first-place Georgia Tech was an important one in Pat Narduzzi's book, he won it, 42-28, and kept his team in the running for a berth in the ACC championship game. Not that he didn't try to blow it. Leading 35-21 with seven minutes remaining, the Panther coach called for a fake punt from his own 41-yard line. The play call was nearly as dopey as the decision to go for it, as wide receiver Cataurus Hicks took the direct snap and ran to the short side, where a host of Yellowjackets awaited. Even if he hadn't stumbled, he stood no chance of picking up the nine yards needed for the first down. What is Coach Narduzzi's angle, exactly? Is he striving to become the Archie Griffin of the Lardhead of the Year Award?

Miami 29, Pitt 22

Penn State at Rutgers

Kaytron Allen is now the all-time leading rusher at PSU, entering this game 46 yards short of 4,000 for his career. What's remarkable is that he has done it in four years. No bonus Covid year, no medical redshirt, no extra ball for turning the machine over.

Now that the Nittany Lions have won back-to-back games, interim coach Terry Smith has become a popular pick to get the job on a permanent basis. The College Football Czar knows he's asking a lot of Penn State fans, but don't be a bunch of lardheads. The Lions would not have fired James Franklin if they could accept anything short of a national championship. A sentimental decision just won't cut it.

The longer the Scarlet Knights persist in wearing those disgraceful "Chop4Change" decals on their helmets, the more things stay the same. Perhaps they should try bringing about change by doing something constructive, instead of woody-choppey-thingeying their way to a losing conference record for the fifth time in as many seasons since rehiring Greg Schiano. It's as if they have trapped themselves perpetually in the year 2020, when a Communist being elected mayor of New York was just a pipe dream that was talked about by young idealists after they burned an Advance Auto Parts. Aren't you insufferable pinkos over there in Springsteenistan ever going to move on?

Penn State 23, Rutgers 10

Texas Tech at West Virginia

With a W at WVU, the Red Raiders would be in the playoffs regardless of how they fare in the Big XII championship game. At 10-1, they have only lost to a formidable Arizona State team, and that was on the road, while starting quarterback Behren Morton was out with an injury. Granted, they haven't played as tough a schedule as the ampersanders on the other end of the state, but they've beaten nine Division I-A opponents by margins ranging from 22 to 48 points.

The Mountaineers have had an idle week since failing to stretch their winning streak to three, when they let one get away from them late against Arizona State, 25-23. That setback leaves them bowl ineligible at 4-7, while coach Rich Rodriguez's old team at Jacksonville State is contending again in Conference USA. If you're trying to guess what RichRod's head is exploding about this week, that just might be it.

Speaking of which, have you ever noticed that the small T in the Texas Tech logo looks like the plunger on a detonator, which the big T is pushing down in order to make something splode? If not, then you aren't watching college football nearly late enough at night.

Texas Tech 44, West Virginia 21

Ohio State at Michigan

The undefeated Buckeyes might feel inclined to throw this game, because that's what they did last season, in order to give the rest of the football world a false sense of security. At least one might remember it that way, were one a lardhead.

The 9-2 Wolverines feel that freshman QB Bryce Underwood is their type, but he has done a lot of hunting and pecking, with only nine touchdown passes all season. Overall, the team's passing offense ranks #13 in the 18-team Big Ten. The lumpy nuts, meanwhile, are second behind only USC, with sophomore slinger Julian Sayin likely to surpass the 3,000-yard mark this weekend.

In Columbus, the University of Michigan is identified by the letters TTUN. Legend has it that this stands for "That Team Up North," because longtime OSU coach Woody Hayes hated Michigan so bad he couldn't bring himself to say the word. To the contrary, it's because those fine student athletes at The Ohio State University have got just a TTUN of respect for their rivals.

Ohio State 27. Michigan 17

Vanderbilt at Tennessee

Had anybody in the state suggested before the season that it would be the Volunteers who would be trying to spoil Vandy's playoff chances, it would have been time to start dismantling the still. Josh Heupel's team, which made the playoffs a year ago, returned reasonably intact this season, but with a better quarterback. Nevertheless, they're only 4-3 in SEC play. Yes, those losses have been to Alabama, Georgia and Oklahoma, but those are the same teams they need to climb over on their way to the CFP, and they're not going to.

The Commodores (9-2, 5-2) have only lost on the road to Alabama and Texas. Their schedule overall has not been so strong. Not only have they not faced Texas A&M, Georgia, Ole Miss or Oklahoma, but their nonconference schedule has consisted of mid-level Mountain West opponent Utah State, a Virginia Tech team in turmoil, 1-10 Sun Belt doormat Georgia State, and Division I-AA Charleston Southern. SEC victories that seemed big at the time, against South Carolina, LSU and Missouri, have turned out not to be so.

A year ago in Nashville, VU scored a touchdown on the opening kickoff, and then recovered a fumble to set up another score for a 14-0 lead. By halftime, the Vols had already stormed back to lead 24-17, on their way to a 36-23 victory. A late TD drive was all that spared Commodore QB Diego Pavia an embarrassingly bad game. Until then, he had only 35 passing yards, while going 5-for-14 with an interception. For all of 2025, he hasn't played a game that remotely resembled that one, and this year, the Tennessee defense is nowhere near #6 in the nation.

How many times do the Commodores have to hear their cross-state opponents play "Rocky Top" before they realize that they're in a landlocked state?

Tennessee 48, Vanderbilt 34

Oregon at Washington

It's great that these schools have maintained their intrastate Civil War and Apple Cup rivalries, but the intensity and hatred of this series supersedes either of those. There was a time, up until the mid-90s, that the Huskies dominated the Ducks, and were annoyed that the puny pushovers to the south considered this a rivalry game, but by now the all-time UW lead has dwindled to 63-49-5.

UW may be 8-3, but its only quality win is against an Illinois team that is 4-4 in the conference. When they've stepped up in competition, they've been squashed by Ohio State (24-6) and Michigan (24-7). Their offense failed them again in their most disappointing defeat, when they were held to 205 total yards in a 13-10 loss at Wisconsin.

While UO quarterback Dante Moore gets most of the attention, it has been the wunning webfoots who have carried this offense. The Fighting Ducks have four different running backs who have gotten more than 40 carries this season, and each of them is gaining between 5.9 and 8.5 yards per carry. While senior Noah Whittington leads the team in rushing yards with 727, it is 235-pound freshman Jordon Davison who has barreled for 13 touchdowns.

Rivalries in the Great Northwest can be pretty intense. For instance, in Seattle, they want to disband the police, whereas in Eugene, they need a certain amount of fuzz in order to arrest people who use plastic grocery bags.

Oregon 35, Washington 23

Troy at Southern Miss

See why the College Football Czar wants all conferences to revert to divisional play? The winner between these Sun Belt West co-leaders will advance unambiguously to face East division winner James Madison for the league championship.

If the Golden Eagles couldn't beat South Alabama this year, they might never get another chance. Last Saturday, USM was playing for sole possession of first place in the Sun Belt West, against a Jaguar team that entered the game at 3-7. For the sixth time in as many games in the series, they were beaten, this time by a final of 42-35.

Meanwhile, the Trojans topped last-place Georgia State 31-19, to pull even with the Eagles at 5-2 in the conference. Quarterback Goose Crowder honked until the defenders got out of his way, allowing him to throw for 361 yards and four touchdowns, with no INTs. Crowder was sidelined for two months by a shoulder injury, but has returned to the lineup after Tucker Kilcrease injured his shoulder, also.

Have you ever wondered why Southern Miss doesn't just call itself Ma'am?

Troy 30, Southern Miss 27

LSU at Oklahoma

If the SEC gets a fifth team into the playoff, it will almost certainly be the Sooners, who are currently 5-2 in the conference and 9-2 overall. If they don't get in, the head-to-head question will be widely debated, because they have beaten an Alabama team that is also 9-2, which is assumed to be in the field of twelve unless it is upset by Auburn. But that is OU's only win against an opponent that currently has a non-losing SEC record, whereas the pachyderms have put away Georgia, Vanderbilt and Tennessee.

The Tigers controlled their win against Western Kentucky throughout, even though the final score was only 13-10. That has basically been their problem all season. No matter how dominant they appear, they just can't put their opponents away.

Last year, Louisiana State shut out the Sooners in the second half of a 37-17 runaway. That game, the first-ever meeting between these teams as SEC opponents, was also the first time they ever met in the regular season. The Tigers topped the Okies 21-14 in the Sugar Bowl at the end of the 2004 season, and slammed them 63-28 in the Peach Bowl in December of 2019. The only Sooner victory so far was in another Sugar Bowl, 75 years ago at Tulane Stadium.

Hopefully, the traveling fans from Baton Rouge don't get lost on their way to the game. Unfortunately, you just can't convince them that Oklahoma doesn't start with an E.

Oklahoma 26, LSU 17

Northwestern at Illinois

The Wildcats finally won one in Wrigley, 38-35 over Minnesota on a last-second field goal. Quarterback Preston Stone threw for more than 300 yards for the first time since transferring to Evanston from SMU. Too bad Stone's throwing just started to catch on in Week 13 of his fifth and final year of eligibility.

The Fighting Illini figured to be better than they are this year, but at home they have been. At 5-1, their only hiccup in Champaign has been a 34-16 loss to #1 Ohio State, and they defeated USC back in Week 5. Their ground game has let them down, however, with Kaden Feagin's 100-yard effort against Western Michigan being the only time all season one of their ball carriers has met that mark.

These intrastate rivals play for the Land of Lincoln Trophy, a bronze image of Abe's stovepipe hat, which looks kind of like an economy size version of the top hat playing piece from Monopoly. It's a little-known fact that they first started playing for the iron, but nobody wanted it, so the teams just took turns scoring intentional 40-yard safeties against themselves.

Illinois 24, Northwestern 21

Western Kentucky at Jacksonville State

A year ago, it was the Hilltoppers who won this matchup at the end of the regular season, 19-17. They turned around and played a rematch in the conference title game a week later, however, and the Gamecocks clobbered them, 52-12. There's a chance they could be running it back again this season, with these teams currently in a three way tie for first, along with Kennesaw State.

Not that the Conference USA championship really means very much. The winner has no hope of vying for the group-of-five CFP bid, and there is no particular bowl game that traditionally hosts the winner of this league. The only three bowl tie-ins for the C-USA this year are the New Orleans Bowl, Boca Raton Bowl and Frisco Bowl. Any other teams that qualify will have to forage for vacant berths elsewhere.

The College Football Czar has considered nicknaming WKU the towel heads, but he thought that might be misconstrued. But they really do wear towels on their heads. So how could that be offensive? Hey, maybe it's the Hilltopper logo that's the problem, and not the Czar's observation of it. Yes, let's go with that.

Western Kentucky 29, Jacksonville State 26

Clemson at South Carolina

In last year's game, Carolina tripped up the Tigers 17-14, which seemed to be the final blow for the national championship homes of the Son of Clem. Not to worry, for we had entered this new era in which regular season games don't really matter. At 9-3, Dabo Swinney's team stopped SMU in the ACC title game, and advanced to the playoffs, even though there was absolutely no chance they might have been the best team in the nation.

This year, the Paw Boys are lucky just to have played their way to bowl eligibility, which they achieved in an otherwise pointless 45-10 beating of Division I-AA Furman. It was their third win in a row, however, including a 20-19 cliffhanger against Louisville on the road.

The Gamecocks routed that other chicken outfit, in a 51-7 slaughter of the Coastal Carolina Chanticleers. At 4-7 overall, they only finished 1-7 in SEC play this season, but they did not get to play any of the other four teams that surround them at the bottom of the conference standings.

People who wear chicken outfits are known as Featheries, and the Furries loathe and ostracize them. After all, what kind of a dork goes around pretending to be a chicken? They have standards, you know.

Clemson 28, South Carolina 23

James Madison at Coastal Carolina

JMU fans shouldn't get worked up about ESPN projections that say their team has the best chance of landing the group-of-five CFP bid. None of the contending American Conference teams stands as good a chance by itself, only because they first have to fight it out with each other. Once the conference championships have played out, the winner of that league will likely get the nod over the Dukes.

Still, let's let the Dukes think they've got a shot, because otherwise, there's no reason for them to care very much about this game. With a two-game lead over CCU and Old Dominion in the Sun Belt East, they have already clinched a berth in the conference championship game.

How in the world are the Chanticleers even bowl-eligible? Their three quarterbacks have combined for 11 touchdowns and 10 interceptions this season, and none of them has thrown for more than 800 yards. In last week's blowout loss to South Carolina, it took Tad Hudson 27 completions to scrape up 174 yards.

Please copy and paste the Featheries gag from the previous pick here. The College Football Czar is pressed for time.

James Madison 31, Coastal Carolina 12

Toledo at Central Michigan

Once again, the absence of divisional play confounds the conference championship scenarios, with the likelihood that the winner of this game will be tied with both Ohio U. and Miami Ohio for second place in the MAC. Because they have not all played each other, as is likely to be the case with any three-way tie in a 13-team league, the head-to-head tiebreaker is irrelevant. Next week's matchup at Ford Field with therefore be decided with all the clarity of a Canadian parliamentary election. If these same teams were still aligned in divisions, we would know that Ohio would now lead the East by virtue of its win over Miami Ohio, and that neither the Rockets nor the Chips could catch Western Michigan in the West.

The Rockets are probably still stinging from their 28-23 loss to arch rival Bowling Green, in which they blew a 21-0 lead. Since then, UT has toasted its last four Mid-American Conference opponents by a combined score of 149-25. By contrast, the Chippewas haven't really blown anyone out. Even their win over Umass was by a somewhat mundane final of 38-13.

CMU is located in a town called Mount Pleasant, but there can't be anything pleasant about being in Kelly/Shorts Stadium, and sitting on metal bleachers in Michigan in late November.

Really? Shorts?

Toledo 31, Central Michigan 24

Florida State at Florida

Sometimes it seems like the Seminoles have nole luck at all. Trailing by three late at Nc State, they forced a punt, only to have the short kick bounce off the helmet of an FSU blocker and be recovered by the Wolfpack. They soon got a break of their own, however, when the officials missed a facemasking penalty, which denied NCSU a first down. The Pack punted again, but this time returner Squirrel White muffed it, effectively ending the game in a 21-11 defeat.

The Gators have tumbled to 3-8 with four straight losses in SEC play. The losses to Georgia, Ole Miss and Tennessee were to be expected, but the one that really hurt was when they let their guard down and got trucked by Kentucky, 38-7.

Seminole quarterback Tommy Castellanos doesn't tend to show very good touch on his short tosses, but many of his long bombs have been right on target. It might only take one of those for his team to outpace this offensively inept UF club.

It's the chop versus the chomp, even though the two of them are very much alike. It's a bit reminiscent of the storied rivalry between "Whoomp, There It Is" and "Whoot, There It Is." Obviously, Whoomp was the winner, as Whoot proved to be the Betamax of thereitises.

The College Football Czar has been trying to update his pop culture references to the 90s. The initial test marketing feedback has been less than encouraging.

Florida State 20, Florida 6

The College Football Czar

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