The Original College Football Czar

Week 1

If you're reading the College Football Czar's Week 1 picks, it must mean that yet another long summer of terrible TV is about to come to a merciful end. So -- if you've spent much of the offseason debating whether to move your fridge closer to the couch to keep the food and beer handier, or move it farther away to improve your yards-per-carry average; if you've been taking remote control practice so that when football starts, you can strategically miss all the commercials that don't have Jan in them; if you've tried to stay in touch with the game by replacing the word "warning" with "timeout" in all contexts, as in "I'm timeout you!"; if the closest you've come to sports viewing in months has been to watch auto racing in hopes of seeing a crash, or a WNBA game in hopes of seeing flying neon naughty bits -- then do not despair, for another exciting, fun-filled season of college football has arrived, and not a moment too soon.

Almost immediately after the Czar posted his preseason issue, it was brought to his attention that he mistakenly declared Temple alumnus Bill Cosby dead! Of course, it is only his reputation that is dead. Cos himself is still kicking around suburban Philadelphia at the age of 88. Had an apology been in order, you would be reading it right now.

The NCAA has announced a handful of rule changes for this season, including one that is designed to cut down on fake injuries. Now, when play has to be stopped for an injured player, that player's team will be charged a timeout. If the team has no timeouts remaining, a five-yard penalty will be assessed for delay of game. This must sound terribly unfair, penalizing a team for a legitimate injury, but the point is that it can't be left up to the on-field officials to make a snap judgment as to whether the player is faking or not. This way, everybody knows the rule going in, and when somebody inevitably gets flagged for a real injury, that's just a bad break. It's not a perfect solution, but it's better than having players hurl themselves to the turf to stop the game every time they start to cramp up a little.

Also, the number of timeouts allotted in overtime has been reduced to three. Each team gets one for each of the first two overtime series, and then a third for the alternating conversions, however many there may be. Up until now, each team had gotten a fresh timeout for every conversion attempt. This is a tiny step in the right direction, but the College Football Czar has yet to ever hear one good reason why there should be any timeouts in overtime at all. If it's really so important to end the games quickly in overtime, then eliminating the timeouts should have been the first rule change that was implemented, long before the game was perverted by exchanging conversions without any touchdowns having been scored.

As always, the Czar's opening week of picks will actually encompass two weeks and change, beginning with a smattering of Week Zero games, and running all the way through Labor Day. So, without further ado:

Aug. 23

Iowa State vs. Kansas State

The College Football Czar already went on at some length in his preseason issue as to why a rivalry game like Farmageddon should not be moved overseas, so rather than belabor that point, he will just be content that this opener is such a good matchup this season. In fact, the Emerald Isle Classic has gotten a handful of very good games in recent years, four of the past five being decided by three points or fewer.

Two years ago at K-State, Cyclone RB Abu Samaiii stomped his way up and down the snowy field for 276 yards and three touchdowns in a 42-35 victory. In last year's regular season opener, he surprisingly only got 15 carries, but still picked up 81 yards as ISU won again, 29-21.

Human sunflower Avery Johnson had better keep his head up, because if the juking junior goes down with an injury at any point this season, the Wildcats will have to turn to an almost completely untested backup. Jacob Knuth has got a perfect completion percentage, but that's because he's only thrown two passes, for a total of 18 yards. He will compete with two freshmen for the second-string position.

How many college football fans do you suppose wander around Ireland during this week every year, asking the locals for directions to Notre Dame Cathedral?

Iowa State 27, Kansas State 23

Fresno State at Kansas

The Jayhawks return to the renovated Memorial Stadium, although it's not apparent that they missed it all that much, having gone 3-1 last year at Arrowhead Stadium in Kansas City, MO, and 1-1 at Children's Mercy Park in Kansas City, KS.

Super Bowl MVP Kurt Warner played for six different professional teams, including the Iowa Barnstormers of the arena league and the Amsterdam Admirals of NFL Europe. His son, E.J. Warner, has played on half that many teams in college alone, moving from Temple to Rice to FSU. If he intends to play beyond this year, he'll need to cut down on his average of 12.7 interceptions a year while playing for various Owlses

Unlike Warner, Jayhawk senior Jaylon Daniels is playing his sixth consecutive season at the same school, including a medical redshirt, and the extra year of eligibility that was offered in response to Covid. Last season, he was similar to his counterpart in one way, in that he tossed 12 INTs to only 14 touchdowns.

This just in: President Trump has just decided that it's stupid for there to be a Kansas City, Missouri as well as a Kansas City, Kansas, so he has issued a proclamation renaming the first of these "Missouri City." Anybody who refuses to call it that will be arrested and flown to a prison in Burkina Faso.

Kansas 45, Fresno State 27

Stanford at Hawaii

Cardinal coach Troy Taylor was fired in March, in reaction to allegations of general un-niceness toward female staffers. Did the complaints have any merit? There seems to be something about back-to-back 3-9 seasons that lends them credibility. Taking command of the club on short notice is longtime backup Buffalo Bills QB Frank Reich, who was only 1-10 with the Carolina Panthers in 2023 before being fired two thirds of the way through the season.

Reich has announced that former Oregon State quarterback Ben Gulbranson will be the opening day starter. The sixth-year senior has had eleven starts in five seasons in Corvallis. Not exactly the steal of the portal season, but at least he's a steadying hand to take over for the erratic Ashton Daniels, who has gone to be the backup at Auburn.

The Rainbow Warriors begin their fifth season playing their home games on-campus at the Clarence T.C. Ching Athletics Complex (not named after the guy who hit the golf ball twice). The new Aloha Stadium, having a capacity of only 22,500, is not expected to be completed until 2029. What the College Football Czar would like to know is why is the old Aloha Stadium still standing when it has been in disuse since January 2021. Did nobody ever tell it that aloha can also mean goodbye?

Stanford 26, Hawaii 14

Aug. 28

Nebraska vs. Cincinnati

When the Cornhuskers beat Boston College in the Pinstripe Bowl to finish 7-6, it capped their first winning season in ten years. This game should give us an idea whether they'll be able to build on that and start being nationally competitive again. To do it, they'll need QB Dylan Riola to improve on both ends of his 13-11 TD-to-INT ratio from his freshman year.

After a 5-2 start a year ago, the Bearcats lost five in a row to finish the season, sending the team home for the holidays when it looked like they had a bowl game in the bag a month and a half earlier. That doesn't make this an especially good time to ask their fans to drive across three states for a neutral-site game.

These teams have never played each other before, which helps explain why they got lost on their way to wherever the game was supposed to be played, and wound up happening to meet instead at Arrowhead Stadium in Kansas City. Statistically, it was inevitable, kind of like that thing about the monkey and the typewriter randomly recreating the complete works of Shakespeare, which would never, ever happen, even given an infinite amount of time.

Sorry, bad example there, apparently. But that's analytics for you.

Nebraska 17, Cincinnati 7

East Carolina at Nc State

These neighboring rivals meet for the second time in as many games. It was the Pirates who pulled off a 26-21 victory last December, in a Military Bowl that was marred by a brawl as time was running out. Wolfpack coach Dave Doeren is determined that his team's conduct, as well as its effort, will improve this time.

The Pirates went 5-1 last year after Blake Harrell assumed head coaching duties midway through the season. The new Pirate skipper had the "interim" removed from his title during the offseason, and thus is looking over his shoulder at nothing but the requisite parrot.

The NCSU ground game will be led this year by Daylan "Hollywood" Smothers, who had a season-high 139 yards on just 15 carries last time out against this same ECU team. The College Football Czar doesn't know what the origin of Smothers' nickname is, but he thinks Hollywood Smothers would be a great name for a game show. Each contestant could be issued a pillow, and given a chance to smother the celebrity of his or her choice. The contest would be a prize unto itself.

Nc State 35, East Carolina 30

Boise State at South Florida

The Broncos are no strangers to these long road trips into the Deep South, but that doesn't make them a welcome sight. In last year's season opener, they escaped Georgia Southern with a 56-45 win. They lost the previous year at Memphis, though, and at Central Florida in 2021.

USF games last year were not characterized by the running of the Bulls so much as the passing against them, as they were the eighth-worst team in the nation in yardage allowed through the air. That gives the Broncs a great opportunity to transfer more of the offensive load to QB Maddux Madsen, in the absence of Ashton Jeanty and his 2,601 rushing yards.

The Bulls have got to come charging out of the gate this year, because they face three ranked teams to kick off the season: Boise State, Florida and Miami. Their final nonconference opponent is a lower-division team, however, and then they proceed through a weak American Conference schedule that does not include Tulane, Army or East Carolina.

Jeanty is far from the only one from his school to graduate to the NFL, you know. It's a statistical fact that no program produces more boys-ey cheerleaders than BSU.

Boise State 29. South Florida 20

Miami OH at Wisconsin

The CheddAir experiment is over, as the Badgers re-emphasize the running game this season, except that they have yet to decide on a starting tailback. Among the three of them, Darrion Dupree got by far the most carries in 2024, although Cade Yacamelli averaged 8.3 yards per carry in limited action. Dilin Jones, who only appeared in three games, enters the year as a redshirt freshman and will probably become more of a factor as the season goes along.

Dequan Finn did not fit in at Baylor, where he was medically redshirted after suffering a shoulder injury in his Big XII opener last season. Now, the longtime Toledo quarterback returns to the Mid-American conference, about three hours south of his old stomping grounds (assuming critters with fins can stomp, of course). In fact, the last time he played a MAC game was his worst performance in an otherwise encouraging 2023 season, losing to this same Miami U team in the conference championship game. His most recent effort against a Big Ten team was a tough 30-28 loss at Illinois in that year's opener.

The Madison Reds never did throw downfield very often. It turns out that CheddAir and the spread were made of the same stuff, which also just happens to make an excellent caulking. Who says TikTok isn't educational?

Wisconsin 23, Miami OH 12

Aug. 29

Georgia Tech at Colorado

CU christens its grasslike carpet as it starts anew, with former Liberty quarterback Kaidon Salter taking over for Shedeur Sanders. We know that won't be easy, because Shedeur just had the most bestest 14-for 23, 138-yard preseason performance in NFL history! The Buffaloes' biggest challenge, however, will be to replicate last year's stellar turnover margin (plus-12) with two-way Heisman winner Travis Hunter having departed for Jacksonville.

Familiar faces return to the Yellowjacket offense, where dual-threat QB Haynes King is joined by leading receiver Eric Singletonjr, as well as leading rusher Jamal Haynes, who fell 56 yards short of 1,000 a year ago. If they can get consistent play from the offensive line, they should improve on last year's output, which rated #35 in the nation.

For the second year in a row, Tech has a chance to look good in its opener, against a team that has lost a lot of talent from the year before. In 2024, they won the Emerald Isle Classic 24-21, over a Florida State squad that went on to finish 2-10.

The Buffaloes have one mascot named Chip and another one named Ralphie, just so they can be equally disgusting at both ends.

Georgia Tech 30, Colorado 18

Auburn at Baylor

The big news from Baylor last week was that the school is suing Boston University for a trademark violation. To the College Football Czar, it's an open-and-shut case. Boston U. has introduced a BU logo with interlocking letters that is pretty obviously just the Bears' helmet logo in different colors. You'd think at some point while they were producing the merchandise, somebody would have stopped and said, "Hey, wait a minute." Then again, had they respected the concept of property, intellectual or otherwise, they would not be typical college pinkos.

Jackson Arnold hasn't made this big a move since NBC put his show on Saturday night as a lead-in to Silver Spoons. The ex-Oklahoma QB transferred to the Tigers sooner rather than later, with former Wazzu whizzer John Mateer taking the starting spot at OU.

Waco is most famous for sexually disturbed apocalyptic cult leader David Koresh, his suspected abuse of children, and attorney general Janet Reno's burning those same children to death in order to save them. The worst thing to ever happen in that town, however, was that BU coach Dave Aranda referred to dwarves as midgets. The fiend!

Baylor 34, Auburn 24

Appalachian State vs. Charlotte

The Mountaineers are coming off their first losing season since making the climb to Division I-A in 2014, at 5-6 with a September cancelation against Liberty. If they don't want to make a habit of it, they need to start out strong before facing Boise State and Oregon State to finish their nonconference schedule.

Can we all agree now that Biff Poggi was a ridiculous head coaching hire for the 49ers? It turns out the 65-year-old coach with the exposed armpits, who berated his own team in press conferences, was not crazy like a fox so much as he was crazy like a rabid, glue-sniffing squirrel. Poggi went 6-16 before being fired with two games remaining in the 2024 season, which his team won without him under interim coach Tim Brewster, now at Division I-AA Sacramento State. Tim Albin now takes over for the Pick-Cs, after leading the Ohio Bobcats to their first-ever MAC championship.

This is officially a neutral site game, because it's being played at Bank of America Stadium instead of the on-campus Jerry Richardson Stadium, even though it is still in Charlotte, and Boone is two hours away. How was this determined? The College Football Czar doesn't know, because he doesn't want to ever meet whoever is in charge of deciding such things.

Appalachian State 41, Charlotte 22

Aug. 30

Nevada at Penn State

In the national quarterfinal game that was officially but not really the Fiesta Bowl, the Nittany Lions bullied Boise State 31-14. Next to that neutral-site game against a highly ranked Bronco team that featured Heisman runner-up Ashton Jeanty, a home game against an uncompetitive Mountain West club line UNR looks pretty unthreatening, and it is. Last season, the Wolf Pack finished 0-7 in the MWC, two games behind the next-worst teams.

Pack quarterback Chubba Purdy (younger brother of Brock) originally committed to Louisville in 2019, but then flipped to Florida State, and then transferred to Nebraska, before finally landing in Reno last season, where he wasn't even the starter. That's hardly upward mobility, but he will make the best of it as he takes over from Brendon Lewis, who has moved on to Memphis. By contrast, PSU slinger Drew Allar is entering his fourth year at the same school, his third as the starter.

The Nittany Lions had better take advantage of the current situation while it still exists. As long as there are unlimited, unregulated player payments, only a school with a gargantuan booster base like PSU can afford to keep a quality starting QB and two 1,000-yard rushers for their entire collegiate careers.

If Nevada-Reno were any relation to Janet, the Lions might have something to worry about.

Penn State 55, Nevada 9

Texas at Ohio State

Blockbuster games like this one are sadly unimportant anymore, as the Longhorns and lumpy nuts are practically jockeying for playoff position before the first of September. If the Big Ten gets its way, the regular season will become even further devalued, as the league is suggesting the playoff already be expanded to 24 or 28 teams. The 28-team model would consist of seven automatic bids each for the Big Ten and SEC, five for the ACC and Big XII, two reserved bids for group-of-five teams, and two at-large bids. Had such a format existed last season, the playoff field would have included Michigan (7-5), Louisville (8-4) and Baylor (8-4). Here's a better idea. As long as we're rendering the regular season meaningless, let's just eliminate it altogether, and have an annual 12-round tournament, with losers being paired up in smaller consolation events along the way.

The College Football Czar has never bought into the mantra that "defense wins championships, but he must concede that it sure helps. Last season, the CFP champion Buckeyes finished first in the nation in yardage allowed, whereas the pointy cows were #3. Still, a starting quarterback has got to count for something, and Arch Manning is obviously ready to take over in Austin.OSU sophomore Julian Sayin, by contrast, completed only 5 of 12 pass attempts last season.

This will be Lee Corso's final appearance on College GameDay, which is a bit odd because the game is being shown on Fox Big Noon Kickoff. The big question is whether Corso will be sentimental enough to stick with his first love, Brutus Buckeye, or surprise everybody by adorning his noggin with the Hook Em head instead. The only sure thing is that every lardhead in America will have money riding on it.

Texas 16, Ohio State 13

LSU at Clemson

The Tigers from Death Valley travel to Death Valley to play the Tigers, in a coincidence that is bound to engender a certain amount of bitterness. The next thing you know, the South Carolinians are going to claim it was they who invented the word "geaux."

The Bayou Bengals have been beaten in five straight season openers, most of them against presumably lesser opponents. They lost last year's game in Las Vegas to a USC team that finished 7-6. Other recent season-opening setbacks have been against Florida State (twice), UCLA and Mississippi State.

Dabo Swinney's team hasn't had this much uncertainty in its backfield for as long as he has been the Pa of the Paw Boys. How he didn't pick up an accomplished running back through the portal, the College Football Czar cannot begin to guess.

No, "engender" does not mean turning someone into a member of the opposite sex. Good guess, though.

LSU 27, Clemson 17

Syracuse vs. Tennessee

One thing's for sure; nobody can accuse the Cuse of padding its schedule. After this neutral-site opener at Mercedes-Benz Stadium in Atlanta, its remaining games away from home are at Clemson, at SMU, at Georgia Tech, at Miami and at Notre Dame.

As his name foreshadowed, Iamaleava left the School of Hard Knox for a cushy $4 million NIL gig at UCLA. He may be missed someday, but not today. In the near term, the College Football Czar suspects the Volunteers have gotten the better of the QB swap in former Appalachian State slinger Joey Aguilar, who had also transferred to UCLA in December, before learning that he wasn't wanted there.

The Czar pities those Orange fans who are arriving in Atlanta only to see yet another indoor football game. When it comes time for an SU season ticket holder to go to that big ugly dome in the sky, he's going to be taken to a Soylent Green death chamber, where he'll be shown videos of football in the sun and the rain and the snow, set to Beethoven's Sixth.

How could they ever know?

Tennessee 38, Syracuse 23

Northwestern at Tulane

Each team has made a potentially big pickup at quarterback, but former SMU slinger Preston Stone has had a lot more time to work with his new Northwestern team than Jake Retzlaff has had at TU, where he transferred just days before the posting of the College Football Czar's preseason issue.

Considering the run that SMU went on with Kevin Jennings at QB, it's hard to question the decision to bench Stone after one game, but it sure did seem hasty. Big things were expected of the Mustang junior, who had more than proven himself a year earlier. Yet he was yanked for playing poorly in the opener at Nevada, even though he was able to rally in the fourth quarter to pull the game out.

After having to leave BYU because of an honor code violation, Retzlaff must have thought, "What's a school that needs immediate help at quarterback, and is located in a den of iniquity?" That narrowed it down to Tulane and UNLV. He probably chose New Orleans because he wanted to avoid Penn and Teller, just like everybody else.

Northwestern 24, Tulane 21

Alabama at Florida State

A quarterback isn't a quarterback if he's not confident, but that doesn't mean he has to indulge in delusions of grandeur. In an offseason interview, new Seminole QB Thomas Castellanos said of the Crimson Tide, "They don't have Nick Saban to save them. I just don't see them stopping me." That's bold talk, coming from a guy who was benched at Boston College last year, and is now leading an FSU team that's coming off a 2-10 season.

There will be no Bama Jam (fo-fam) for this opening game, because senior running back Jam Miller has sustained a mostly undisclosed "upper body" injury. The obvious next option would be Dre Washington, a transfer from Louisiana-Lafayette, but don't be surprised to see heralded freshman A.K. Dear get a few carries. One synonym for "dear" is "expensive," which he surely must be, if they are going to keep him in Tuscaloosa long enough for him to take over.

Last year's Tide team barely missed the field of 12 in spite of being clearly better than four of the teams that made it in. Nevertheless, they proved they didn't belong either, when they lost to Michigan in the ReliaQuest Bowl to finish 9-4. At 5-3 in SEC play, they were in a six-way tie for fourth place. Imagine if that conference had seven automatic playoff bids, and some convoluted tie-breaker had to decide which two among those six teams were dealt out. People would start agitating to expand the field to 32 before you could say, "The College Football Czar warned us about this."

If the pachyderm defenders are at all loyal to second-year coach Kalen DeBoer, they're going to give Tallahassee Tommy a chop, and he asked for it.

Alabama 44, Florida State 10

Temple at Umass

The undeceased Mr. Cosby will no doubt be listening to this game, which at least promises to be more entertaining than Leonard Part 6. Thankfully, Leonard Parts 1 through 5 don't really exist, just like Rocky I, Star Wars IV: A New Hope, and Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark.

The Minutemen return to the Mid-American Conference, where they competed from 2012-15. This opener is not a conference game, although the Owls once were MAC members also, from 2007-11. TU has been in the American for all three previous meetings, all victories.

Longtime lower-division coach K.C. Keeler will try to spread a little sunshine in Philadelphia, where he arrives after engineering a great turnaround at Sam Houston. Now in his third season in Division I-A, Keeler began his head coaching career with the Division III Rowan Profs, whose mascot also happens to be an owl (because owls are, you know, "professorial"). After compiling a record of 88-21-1 at the small New Jersey school, he went 86-52 at Delaware, and then 97-39 at SHSU. His total of 271 wins places him at #21 all-time in victories at all levels of college football.

So Massachusetts is now part of Mid-America. How do you suppose Teresa Heinz-Kerry is taking that?

Temple 37, Umass 35

California at Oregon State

It was when these teams met last year that the Golden Bears salvaged their season. Having lost four consecutive ACC games by a combined total of nine points, Cal uncorked a 44-7 explosion against former conference foe OSU in Berkeley. The Beaver defense got trodden on by the appropriately bearily-named WR Trond Grizzell, for 95 yards on five catches.

The Beavs dammed their leak in the transfer poral by bringing in junior QB Maalik Murphy from Duke. In 2024, Murphy tossed 26 TDs while falling just 67 yards short of 3,000. This dramatic upgrade behind center is a welcome break in the freefall the program had been experiencing since the dissolution of the Pac 12.

This was never exactly one of the more storied rivalries in the Pac 8-slash-10-slash-12, but it could hardly be more competitive, with the paddlebottoms leading the all-time series, 38-37. They had trailed for most of its history, until finally getting the upperhand in a 52-40 fracas last October.

Last year was not the first time these teams had played as nonconference opponents. When the Pacific Coast Conference collapsed in 1959, Oregon State was among the schools that were left to languish as Independents (sound familiar?), whereas California was one of the five ex-PCC members who formed the new Athletic Association of Western Universities. That AAWU Network carriage deal must have been too good to pass up.

Oregon State 40, California 31

Utah at UCLA

We heard little but superlatives about QB Nico Iamaleava during his freshman year at Tennessee, but the results on the field weren't all that super. His only 300-yard game was in the opener against Division I-AA Chattanooga. His play was very promising for a first year player, but the Bruins are going to want more than that for their $4 million.

The Utes will benefit from knowing who their quarterback is on a week-to-week basis, instead of repeatedly hoping for Cam Rising to come out on the right end of a game time decision. Devon Dampier will have to avoid being a wet blanket as he often was at New Mexico last season, where he threw as many interceptions (12) as touchdowns.

Since the Ute fans come from a city with a lake that's been ruined with salt, they can't wait to get to that nice, big, fresh water lake in Los Angeles. You know, where the Lakers play.

Oh, sure, but everybody makes fun of the Utah Jazz.

Utah 20, UCLA 13

Colorado State at Washington

The Rams went 6-1 in Mountain West play a year ago, but missed out on the conference championship because UNLV, also 6-1, had a higher CFP rating. Surely, the old system of matching the two divisional winners was better than that. At least a divisional tie would have been resolved by a head-to-head regular season game.

The Huskies had a rough rebuilding year in 2024, after losing what had arguably been the best offensive line in the nation for two years prior. This current unit will be tested by CSU defensive coordinator Tyson Summers, who promises an aggressive attack that seeks to force a lot of turnovers.

Colorado State is one of three departing Mountain West teams, along with Boise State and Utah State, that is suing that conference, claiming that its $19 million exit fee is not legitimate. The MWC says the three schools were league members at the time that rule was approved. The College Football Czar suspects the conference is correct, but he can't blame the schools for trying. With $19 million, you could sign the best quarterback in college football, and still have enough left to buy ground beef for the tailgate party.

If a school can be sued over BU, then how is a highly unoriginal ram horn helmet okay?

Washington 28, Colorado State 24

Aug. 31

Virginia Tech vs. South Carolina

This is the first time these formerly frequent opponents have met since 1991, just before both schools left the ranks of the Southern Independents, Carolina for the SEC and VT as a football-only member of the Big East. Up until then, they had played six years in a row, with the Gamecocks going 4-0-2.

Tech gets a taste of modern-day Beamer-ball, with the son of its own legendary coach entering his fifth season at SC. Shane Beamer posted his best record yet of 9-4 a year ago, with wins over Oklahoma, Texas A&M and Clemson.

Gobbler QB Kyron Drones crashed so often in 2024, you'd think there was a Russian at the controls. The senior scrambler will try to shake off a series of injuries that depressed his production both in the air and on the ground. He threw seven fewer TDs and three more picks last year than he did in 2023, and he rushed for 1.5 fewer yards per carry.

A lot of phony meat products are made with mechanically separated chicken and turkey, but what does that mean? Is it that the chickens and turkeys all start out in the same room, and then the chickens get on an escalator?

South Carolina 13, Virginia Tech 10

Notre Dame at Miami

The often indifferent Hurricanes had a chance to win a bowl game for the first time since 2016, and opted not to. NFL number one draft pick-to-be Cam Ward surprisingly showed up to play against Iowa State in the Pop Tarts Bowl. After an excellent first half, however, he took himself out of the game and watched ISU come back to win, 42-41. Why would he commit to playing at all, if not the whole game? Observers couldn't help but note that the first half was all he needed to break Case Keenum's NCAA record for career touchdown passes. Once Ward had secured the individual accomplishment, he said scroo The U.

Mind you, Ward had thrown for 71 scores during two seasons at Division I-AA Incarnate Word before transferring to Washington State, whereas Keenum played every snap at the University of Houston, so Ward only holds the record if the qualifications are expanded to include all of Division I. So let him take that asterisk and stick it.

Freshman C.J. Carr will pitch the potato for the Fighting Irish, who will be forced to change their offensive approach with the dropback pocket passer behind center. During last year's run all the way to the CFP championship game, QB Riley Leonard was second on the team in rushing, with 906 yards.

Meanwhile, the Canes introduce a much older new quarterback in Carson Beck, who has played at Georgia for the past four years. Beck has recovered from offseason surgery to repair a torn ligament in his throwing elbow, which he suffered in last year's SEC championship game against Texas. Without him in the lineup, his Bulldogs lost in the CFP quarterfinals to these same golden domers.

Any time these two teams tangle, you can count on being bludgeoned with references to their 1988 game, complete with ad nauseam replays of the ESPN 30 for 30 show about it. In all fairness, though, "Catholics vs. Convicts" is a misnomer. It turns out the Fighting Irish aren't really all that Catholic.

Notre Dame 22, Miami 19

Sept. 1

TCU at North Carolina

Good thing UNC finally forced out that crusty, old, confused, doddering, 73-year-old head coach Mack Brown, so that they could bring in a fresh, energetic whiz kid, eight months his junior. In Brown's second stint with this program, he had only one losing season in six years, during which time he went 44-33. There's not a lot of room for Bill Belichick to improve upon that as immediately and dramatically as many expect.

The two biggest questions for the Tar Heels are: (1) Does Coach Belichick have to get permission from you-know-who before he addresses his players; and (2) If she exercises the kind of control over him that we saw in that CBS interview, then why doesn't she tell him to make himself presentable?

Josh Hoover of the Horned Frogs came up just 51 yards short of a 4,000-yard season in 2024, making him the second-leading returning quarterback in the nation, behind only Garrett Nussmeier of LSU. In 2023, Hoover threw for 2,206 yards, in little more than half a season.

It's a good thing this game at the Chapel of Love is being played on Labor Day, because the day after that, nobody would be able to wear white.

TCU 52, North Carolina 41

The College Football Czar

a sports publication from The Shinbone